Thanks Brie. You and Miriya both make good points. I’ve actually been working on a couple of the things you guys mentioned. When my wife asked about HRT I was straight up and told her I was probably about 90 or 95% sure that I wanted to do it but I’m not 100% of the way yet.
I have a wonderful, wonderful counselor who almost exclusively works with the transgender community and in fact identifies as a lesbian and lives with a transwoman. She has lots of trans female clients. It has been wonderful to work with her. We’ve discussed HRT and what it does and doesn’t do for you, drawbacks, etc. Having said that she said she would have no problem with writing a letter for me saying that it is a medical necessity for me to get it.
My wife is coming down for a week in March for a visit. I’d already suggested that I could sleep in another room and she take the bed but she was adamant that she wanted to share the bed with me. So I would say that’s some sort of progress. She has even said things that have suggested that she might want to be intimate again. I guess we’ll see.
I think your thoughts on us being separate giving her safe space and time are right on the money. I think it has given her the ability to just think about things and consider which way she wants/needs to go with our relationship. As I said she has said many times that she is absolutely committed to our marriage, that our vows are sacred and that she would never break them. But I think that she is trying like I an to figure out just exactly what that relationship is going to look like now. I think that one’s gonna take time. I think we’re both trying to reestablish our footing having slid halfway down a very big mountain. It’ll take time to climb back up.