Reply To: I recently dicovered I’m trans, and my whole world fell apart


Hi Liza, I can’t tell you much in terms of my example. I was denying my true self for over 60 years until last July when I finally revealed what my hidden feelings were to my wife.

I know when I was your age, I couldn’t have come out to anyone, since back in the 70s it just wasn’t accepted at all. Plus, my parents were so conservative they didn’t like Billy Graham because he had celebrities on his crusade stages. So I do get where you are coming from. All I know is I was miserable for a lot of the last 45-50 years because I reached adulthood, as you have, and saw a life ahead that I didn’t want but felt powerless to change.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and my daughter and I’ve built a good life with them. But I’ve only been half alive and I wish I could have been fully present this whole time. I’m probably not making you feel much better with this reply so far, but your family may understand the difference between same-sex relationships and transgender issues. Just because you want to transition doesn’t (necessarily – I don’t know your heart here) make you a “homosexual” – their term I expect, not mine.

You are an adult, so they do not legfally have a right to withhold permission, but if you are dependent on them for your support, then it may be a difficult choice to face, for sure. One we shouldn’t have to make! Do you have any LGBTQ organizations where you live? Like Planned Parenthood, or PFlag, or a local support place? They can help with housing, employment sources,counseling, meds, and other things to help you.

Please do not misunderstand me – I’m not telling you to abruptly come out to your family or strike out on your own unprepared. I’m just suggesting some options for you to get information you can share with your family if, or when you do tell them about Liza. You are much braver than I was at your age! I couldn’t even write about what I felt or tell anyoine besides God, let alone seek out a support group like this. Of course, there was no Internet when I was your age (giggle).

Good luck, and keep us informed how you get on. Even if nothing changes, it’s helpful for us to get support from others in our situation.



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