Reply To: I recently dicovered I’m trans, and my whole world fell apart


Hi Liza, and welcome to TGH. I’m an older trans woman and a very private person with a few thoughts about this. I hope they help.

1) Transitioning and coming out are not sudden transformations – they are processes. You have already come out, here on TGH, which is a brave and self-affirming event. Take the time to acknowledge and revel in that. What you do next, and in the long run, is up to you. The important thing is that you now know who you are and can find peace and joy in that, no matter who you share it with. I think you will find that this thing cannot be stopped and that to try to stop it is to risk the pain and sadness and loneliness that so many of us have known in the past. You have to keep moving forward. But do it at your own pace. Be patient with yourself and love yourself along the way. There’s time.
2) Find support: among the loving and sympathetic women on this site who have been through everything you are going through and sometimes horrifically more; from anyone (relative, friend, or other) you feel you can trust; from counselors and support organizations as you feel safe to reach out to them. You are not alone!
3) Be safe, physically and emotionally. The world (and sadly, sometimes families) can be a dangerous place for people like us. You will make mistakes and sometimes get hurt, but it’s important not to take unnecessary risks.

We are glad to have you here. Don’t hesitate to reach out to any of us when you have questions or just need to converse or to vent feelings. We see you.

Love, Jane

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