Reply To: When did you start to suspect you needed to transition


Hi everybody, I’m facing a life changing decision and situation and really hoping that I can get some advice from you girls regarding transitioning. First let me provide a bit of background history. As it says in my profile, I have known I was TG when I was only 5 years old. I was married to a wonderful gal for 40years and I had told her I was a CD and she was ok as long as it was in private. I did manage to go out with her to a few Halloween parties in full female attire. She did share with a few close lady friends that I had a little secret. We successfully raised two wonderful kids who now have their own kids. Unfortunately she passed away in 2014 after fighting cancer for two years. At the beginning of 2017 I remarried a cute little blonde who is completely and incredibly feminine, which is what attracted me to her. I didn’t let her know about being what at that time was considered a CD. Fast forward and, as many of you have experienced, gender dysphoria became a screaming mental reality and I realized that I am and always have been, a transgendered woman. I could no longer keep this a secret from my wife and we had “the talk” several weeks ago. She was curious about what transgenderism is and started looking things up on line, she also discovered one of my Facebook crossdressing pages that I had posted a picture of Lauren on. So, without my knowing anything was going on, she also searched for and found all my feminine attire and makeup. She then contacted my sister, my brother in law, and my sister in law, telling them I was transgendered. Last Friday I met these people at an arranged coffee gathering where I walked in totally in the dark to face non stop questions coming at me for over two hours. Interestingly enough I found out that there were a lot of people I’ve know for years who said they already knew I was TG. Obviously the grapevine my first wife created was very effective. One major thing I noted was that almost all the women who know appear to be totally supportive while the guys are just very puzzled. My sister and both of my sisters in law have looked into gender dysphoria and MTF transgenderism and have said that it seems obvious that I need to move into the next chapter of my life, my life as Lauren. My wife and all of them agree that the time has come for me to find my own place where I can live as her 24/7. I was curious about my workplace where I am the site supervisor at the security desk of a government ministry. My supervisor with the security company, who is a lesbian, said coming out as TG wouldn’t be a problem at all and they would help with name and gender label changes. I am waiting to see about the response from the staff where I work where almost 95 % are women. I am already very close with many of them and have had multiple occasions where they have shared very personal things with me. Many have noticed and teased me about my being feminine<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />. I am very soft spoken and sometimes my girl voice has inadvertently popped out.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />So…the big question. What do I do now? I have to find a place, my wife says there isn’t an option to stay together at this time. She says she still cares for me and wants to stay married and be good friends but says she can’t handle coming home and not knowing if it’s going to be a man or a woman there when she opens the door. I have to wear a uniform at work, it is the same uniform for male and female employees, dark blue tactical cargo pants and a white shirt, similar to what ambulance staff wear.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />How do you do your best to appear feminine in clothing like that?? What is involved in transitioning?? It will probably only be social transitioning as I my not be able to do HRT because I had heart surgery last year. Lots of questions and I’m hoping please, that I can get lots of helpful suggestions from all you ladies. I’m really looking forward to any help you can provide.

With lots of heartfelt love,<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />Lauren Mugnaia

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