I have always been fascinated by the female form, and not necessarily sexually. One of my earliest memories was of slipping on a pair of kitten heels that my mother owned. I think that was the only thing I tried on for quite awhile. I always loved to cook, sew and I learned how to crochet, my mom taught me all of that.
I think the first time I tried on any women’s clothing I was probably about 14. I was home from school for Parent/Teacher Conference and my parents had to work and couldn’t go until after 5pm. So, I had the entire house to myself. When I had finished dressing, I was amazed how comfortable I was…. like I really belonged in a skirt, blouse and pantyhose.
I didn’t really think too much about it, but I knew normal “guys” shouldn’t dress in the opposite clothing. I didn’t understand what the fuss was but… Oh well.
I did most of the guy things, like baseball, football, hunting and fishing. Plus I got sexually curious about girls/women in general. I graduated H.S. and went into to National Guard to get electronics training. I came home and married my H.S. sweetheart.
I crossdressed as often as I could, but was still in the closet with friends and family. But, as I got older, it increasingly became aware that being a guy wasn’t as fulfilling as it once was. I was not whole. My problems started to grow and by the time I was in my 30’s, I started to have bouts of depression , I was in a very dark place for quite a while.
I had to retire at the age of 51 due to a heart attack I suffered. Man, talking about almost being suicidal. So, I told my regular doctor my problems. She referred me to a Therapist and after about 2-3 months suggested that I could be at least bi gendered.
I now feel much better about myself after starting HRT and coming out to my wife and daughter. It was a rough couple of years for my wife and myself but we have made it through. I understand that a great percentage of marriages break up over this kind of problem. Thank God, mine is still intact !