Reply To: Welcome to Transgender Heaven

[Claire Conner]

My introduction. Hi, my name is Claire and I’m in my mid 50’s. As with many of you, I have known from an early age, around 5 to 7, that I was different. I found ways to sneak and dress in my mother’s clothes and for a while, shoes. I’d always felt more like a girl and dreamed that one day something would happen to make that part come true. Unfortunately reality didn’t allow that to happen. After a while I accepted, the best I could, my situation and assumed my gender born role. Only later in life did I finally discover that there was a term for this, now called, transgender and that I was not alone. I have never been able to escape my internal self realization of who I am and what I feel and know inside. I’ve been to several therapists. One decent and the others, not having a clue on how to handle my situation. The last therapist I saw put me on some anxiety medicine which helped ease the dysphoria part but it left me empty and felling less in other ways so I quit the medicine. I know if I wanted I could probably go back on a higher dosage to shut that part of me down but I also know that it’s shutting down another big part of me as well and I don’t want to go through life having to depend on drugs to live a life that everyone else wants. Right now I just have a ton of emotions that I’m trying to work through and figure out the best path forward for me.