Hi Ashley, I started hormone transitioning in late November last year, and I know how you feel. I still have days when I wonder if I am doing the right thing, transitioning well past 60. I am also married for 40 years and my wife is struggling to come to terms with it all. I had been a totally secret CD all my life (off and on – I’ve purged at least 6-7 times over the years).
The thing I most struggled with was feeling like I was “broken” or “a disappointment”. I don’t want to get too off on a tangent, but when I stopped praying for deliverence and started praying to be useful with it, everything changed for me – not just emotionally. I’ve already had the chance to help others with their struggles and plan a second career being an advocate for the LGBTQ commiunity in some way.
Please feel free to PM me to chat further and know not only are you safe and loved here, but you are not doing anything wrong by exploring your gender identity.