Well, the summer before my junior year in high school was coming to an end. Everything seemed in place for me to go to school as Jennie. I had reached my adult height of 5-7 and weigh about what I do now, 125 lbs. My hair had grown long since I stopped cutting it six years ago. I had had several appointments with a hair dresser to get it trimmed and evened up. I could not really tell if my voice had changed, but my mom said it may have deepened a little, but still sounded enough like a girl’s voice when people looked at me. My big disappointment was that after five months of being on female hormones, my chest so still pretty flat, but with my heavily padded A cup bra my sister told me I looked fine. I was so excited, but about a week before school started I started to panic. Even though I now had been dressing full time as a girl for three months, going to school as Jennie would be different. Especially when my sister while trying to calm me down about how good I liked, mentioned that if anyone could “read me” it would be teenage girls and I had spent the summer around my neighbor, Katie, and her friends who obviously had accepted me as a girl. Instead of calming me down, I remember it freaked me out.
So finally the big day arrived and I was super nervous and scared as I walked out the door. I went across the street and joined Katie in waiting for the school bus. I sat with Katie on the bus and then walked into school. On the first day of school, we had what they called “home room” to get our class schedules and locker. It was so nice in each class when I heard my female name called and I answered. I somehow got through that terrifying day and was so happy to get home and relax. Even though I had never had a trouble passing, I worried about it a lot. After about a week I began to calm down and gain some confidence. I also began to make some friends who all seemed to accept me as a girl. But that fear of detection would not go completely away probably right up to when I finally got the surgery.