I know how you feel.
I was a Pentecostal Evangelist,husband and father of two young children. And fighting this with all I had.
Trying to keep my family together.
Trying to hold onto a farm.
When it started unravelling I was stripped of everything with the church.
I took a long time studying the Bible before I could actually accept that God loves us and that we are not wrong or broken.
If you want to talk or rant, please feel free to drop a line.