Reply To: Do you want to be a girl?

[Michelle Freed]

Do I want to be a girl?  I take that as wanting to express as a girl on the outside.  I’m a girl on the inside.  I’ve taken the steps to physically present outwardly who I am after decades of denial.  When I had the conversation with my wife, she asked if I wanted to be a girl too.  At the time I said no like many others did on this thread.  The true answer was yes of course.  That response to my wife was deceiving to her.  Fast forward to a couple months later.  That’s when the E was starting to work, had only been on it for a month at that point.  I had to tell her that I was unsure, although I was sure.  I told her I am loving how I feel on E and she agreed that my mood had definitely changed for the better.  Now to give context, my wife knew and actually helped with what she thought was just cross dressing.  She even helped with the makeup, which is an art by the way.  In hindsight I should have told her way back in 2013 when I was diagnosed the first time with GD.  It took me until 2021 to get back to therapy and get out of my denial of who I truly am.  It’s amazing the clouds lifting from me and rays of happiness being absorbed into my body.  I am no longer the angry man I used to be, I’m far more understanding and patient than I ever was.