Rachel, I have to agree with you. most likely most of us, if not all of us, had/have heterosexual spouses and they want a heterosexual relationship.
My wife and I talked about the transition scenario and she said she marred me as a man – not a woman. She furthered stated she needs a man in her life. I cannot fault her. So now we are planning to get a divorce but remain BFF. She stated she wants to be there for me through the journey. I’m actually cool with it now. It opens a whole new world. And I do want to explore various types of relationships as I work on completing the transition. So who knows maybe one day I will have a new man in my life.
We can only bend ourselves. Do not try to change your spouse. That’s not fair to her. Would you want her to stop your choice?