I am exactly the same, can never find anything in my handbag when I need it. I have a pompom attached to my car keys so I can find them in a hurry if I need to. Even then it’s about 8/10 that I find them first attempt!
Another trans friend told me that 80% of transitioning is in the mind. It is learning all the mannerisms, by watching but also by talkin to my female friends who have, without exception, accepted me as “one of the girls”.
I know I don’t exactly “pass”, I can’t get rid of my beard shadow without laser treatment and can’t afford that until my inheritance comes through. I am learning to swing my hip when I walk, take smaller steps and it feels so natural to cross my legs the moment I sit down. I have always felt most comfortable wearing skirts and either tights or stockings. Increasingly the latter with a suspender belt or basque.
I am loving the more confident me,supported by my friends (but not family). Long before I made the leap of faith and came out as Melanie, I would wander into department stores just to look at the lingerie, feel the materials an long to wear it but felt too self-concious to buy anything.
I can’t believe how far I’ve come; now I can browse the bras and suspender belts like any other woman. No-one bats an eye; well maybe those two Asian women in burkhas who were having a sneaky feel of the racier items! I giggled back and that made me feel so good! I order stockings online and plan my outfits. I got so many compliments on my outfit on Sunday (when I like to dress up), that I got quite emotional and there were tears of joy running down my cheeks. That felt good too, that I can express my emotions now in a way I’d never be able to pre Melanie.
It has been, and still is, an enjoyable journey. My next step will be make-up. I have no idea how far I will go with that. I hate touching my eyes with mascara or eyeshadow, they itch quite a bit.
If only I could have come out much sooner!