Reply To: What Order to Transition In?


Hi Nicki,

Everyone here has given you excellent advice.  I’m a little late to the reply but just will add this from personal experience as an intersex person.  First if people that you love aren’t onboard, you put your relationship at great risk.  Really think about it because everyone close to you will be caught up and be transitioning with you whether they like it or not.  Next, any surgery is no walk in the park and there is no undo button.  It is costly, very time consuming and possibly will not produce the results that you imagined.  Another thing to be aware of is that you may not be ready or welcome the results of transition (like great, I need to spend and extra 1/2 hour on my hair and before I just walked out the door or I just want to sit at the bar for a quiet drink and watch the game but now I’ve got strange men sitting right next to me and trying to make conversation I wonder if they are going to follow me to my car? etc  or will those stiff little white whiskers ever stop popping up? I thought we zapped them all).

So, if you proceed, I suggest taking the simplest steps possible like the social transition that Lauren mentioned and begin to develop your wardrobe.  If that works out and things are going well then you can begin slowly with the mechanics and start getting rid of your wigs and grow and style your real hair (it takes about 2 years).  You can also then think about your beard removal (2 to 6 years of weekly visits and 3 to 10 K and you may need to get a part time job to support all this).   Further along with all this you may look into facial and neck surgery at 6 to 36 K.  Finally if it suits you, you may change your documents and get breast and/or bottom surgery.  Then hopefully you are still happy and have your loved ones around you yet.  Proceed slowly, thoughtfully and cautiously  if you wish for the best results.  The people here at TGH and CDH are most knowledgeable and kind  and will always help you.  I wish you the very best in your journey,




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