I’m with Lauren Mugnala on this one. For me, the primary issue is that I’m living completely as a woman.
I live in Washington State, which may very well be the most trans-friendly state in the country. WA does not require medical documentation to change my name and gender; the only requirement is that I sign a legally binding document that I’m not doing so for any illegal purpose, or to avoid creditors. My name and gender have also been changed for Social Security. The only thing left to do is to legally change my New York State birth certificate, since I was born there.
Living as a woman has been fantastic! Except for an “add two cup sizes” bra, I don’t use any enhancements. Except for the bulge between my legs, I’m a girl from head to toe!
That said, my situation is completely different than yours. I’m long since divorced, and retired. I have no kids. Accordingly, I hesitate to give advice.
I will comment about electrolysis. It’s painful and expensive, and sometimes causes swelling. Removing a beard seemingly takes forever. In fact, despite many treatments, I still have some beard hair. Many cis women have this problem as well, so I don’t feel any less girly. (Of course, a gray beard is also much easier to cover. :))
Voice training, at least for me, has taken a long time, although I now talk in a convincing female voice. Learning female mannerisms, and ;earning to talk in “girl speak” has also taken some time.
At my age, I have no desire for HRT (It’s much less effective on an older woman) or GRS (I can’t afford it). Exercising in a bra has apparently trained my breasts such that I don’t need anything more than a padded bra.
Well, there’s my two cents worth; hopefully it was helpful. 🙂