I am a MtF in her mid fifties that’s in desperate need of some other girls help and encouragement right now. Part of this I guess is a vent but a great part is it is a coming from a point of feeling scared and not in control. I’ve dealt with gender dysphoria all my life but for the most part, I’ve been able to deal with them or find ways, more or less. But over the past year or so, it’s become more increasingly obvious that I am in less and less control of this and it scares me to death. The things I used to be able to do to help control and/or alleviate my dysphoria are no longer working. I’m trying to hold it together for my family but I feel that I’m starting to come a part at the seams. I had a therapist at one time but in order to see her again, I have to start the process all over again and I don’t know that I would be able to see her even then. I don’t know what to do, except find a place to curl up and cry. My emotions are all over the place, but right now while others are around, I’m still able to keep them in check. My wife knows but thinks this is something that can just be managed and I can still be the person she wants me to be. She has more or less made it clear that I can’t be anything less or even express it in any way.
Any words of help and/or encouragement would be greatly appreciated and sincerely coveted.
Thank you for letting me vent and get this off my chest.