Reply To: Dear Diary…

DeeAnn Hopings

These situations are always the Luck of the Draw. It is often hard to predict the reactions that people will get and many will put off coming out for that reason. Some will be as expected and others will be just the opposite. It seems that those in your circle have been quite positive. I wish that was the case for everyone!

Unless something really untoward happens, many have said that the coming out experience is truly liberating. Among other things, it means that we don’t have to invest energy in being careful with what we say and do and continuing to posture to keep a fake persona in play. Then it becomes a matter of how can we put that time and effort towards a better purpose; a more positive purpose.

There’s an odd thing about gay men and lesbians with respect to trans people. MANY have essentially no understanding of the transgender experience. With gay men, from my experience, it isn’t unusual to talk about transgender issues and have the conversation bent around to talking about doing drag. For lesbians, sometimes this book is mentioned: The Disappearing L: Erasure of Lesbian Spaces and Culture. One of the topics is the premise that part of the erasure issue is do to trans people and issues occupying a significant part in the media. They seem to dismiss the fact that trans adults and young people are being very specifically targeted for discrimination AND violence. Also, the decline of lesbian spaces has been going on for a some time; long before trans related issues became more prominent. Anyway, trans women are not the problem.

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