Glad that you have discovered us! I hope that this will always be a good place for you.
It is important to know that dealing with gender issues is a marathon and not a sprint. As we work through our issues, it takes time to settle into things and get comfortable with where we are heading. There is no way around it and it isn’t the work of a minute.
One of the reasons that this site exists to to help combat isolation. This is a major problem for many trans people and it isn’t restricted to people who live in the country or small towns. Often people are reluctant to seek out other trans folks because they are afraid of being outed and that is a significant issue for some. But, the point of connecting with community is realizing that we are not alone. There are others in our situation currently, plus those who are further along and those who have yet to experience where we are now. There is strength in community and it also represents a source of comfort for many.
Coming to grips with our gender identity and progressing is like preparing to take a trip down the river. Some know that they need a boat, but they don’t know what kind or how big. Some have figured out that they do, in fact, need a boat and they are currently looking. Some have found a boat, but how do you get it in the water? Some have their boat in the water, but now they have to decide where they are going and how to run the boat. Some have figured out where they want to go, how to operate the boat and they are moving along the river. Finally, there are some who have reached the end of their journey, but at this point, there is a fork in the road. Some will leave the community and some will stay and offer a helping hand to those coming after. For those who stay connected to the community, they represent data points for others. They are data points that reinforce the idea that this deal IS survivable and also that we can get to where we need to be.
So, the question is how. MANY trans people have found that working with a therapist is very helpful. Our minds work in such a way as to protect us from difficult situations and lower our stress levels. But the problem is that we have some very heavyweight issues upon which to consider and make decisions. There are many unknowns and a therapist can help to keep us focused on difficult things that have to get resolved and provide some insight, at least to some useful degree. However, know that every therapist does not have experience with gender issues, so it is important to find someone who is.
I suggest doing an internet search for transgender resources in your area. Many bad things happened as a result of the pandemic, but one of the positives that has surfaced is that organizations started doing their support groups and social gatherings on line or in some hybrid form. I participate in 2 different weekly lesbian chat groups. Both are based next door to me in Palm Springs, CA. We get women calling in from about 1 hour west of here, upstate in central California, Las Vegas, Michigan, Nebraska, Seattle, West Virginia, and probably a couple of others that I don’t remember at the moment. Most of the women have some prior contact with the area through vacation visits, Pride visits, owning a 2nd home here or thinking about relocating here. If it weren’t for the group being on line, it would be hard for them to maintain contact with the area and the women’s community here.
You can search our member database for others who are close to you. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
Thanks for working through your Profile page. I usually have to remind people to do that. It helps to let others know what your situation is.Also, remember that the page will always be readily accessible and can be updated at any time as things change for you.