You are experiencing what I call “settling in”. After we have concluded who we really are, it takes time until we can Walk The Walk. In part, I also think we have also given up a lot of our male posturing in order to get to this point. In addition, there is a shift in our perspective on how we interact with the world, and how we expect the world to interact with us. If you read the stories of trans people, MANY knew that we were different at quite young ages. But, there is a difference between knowing information intellectually and internalizing that information.
I don’t know if we will ever exactly get to the point where we think and function 100% as our target gender, but we will get pretty close as long as we remember the differences, how they play out and get some control over our male privilege and sexism. The problem is that probably most of us who come to our real gender identity in later years need to understand how male privilege and sexism work, and how we have bought into it, in order to let it go.
Now some trans women may say that they have always felt that they were female. While that can be true, we have to remember the world that surrounds us and the expectations it has for us. I think it is hard to grow up in such a way as to be completely unaffected by the concepts of male privilege and sexism.
Interesting what you said about noticing men. I have a long history of noticing man and women. While I have aligned myself with the lesbian community more for social and political reasons, I am bisexual. For me, attraction doesn’t have a lot to do with plumbing…