I’m not sure whether I’m navigating this post correctly, but here goes. 🙂 The closest analogy that I can think of is that of a cat. It’s not unusual for a cat to cuddle up at 3 A.M. and start purring. I’m like a cat, except that I don’t know how to purr. 🙂
I hesitate to give advice, simply because we’re two different people who may very well be in two different situations. In my own case, my spouse wanted to maintain the status quo, and that was unacceptable to me. We didn’t have any kids, so there was nothing keeping us together. We’ve been apart since 1983; the last I knew, she was on her third marriage subsequent to ours. We’ve had no contact since 1999, shortly before I moved to my current residence of Pullman, WA.