First thing. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, but based on my own experience and what you have described, you have a full blown case of gender dysphoria.
Second thing. Only you know deep inside what you are feeling. Don’t let others tell you what they think you’re feeling, they aren’t you!
I knew when I was only 4 years old that I was supposed to be a girl, that knowledge has never left me, and now, as a very mature adult, I have transitioned and live as a woman, legally a female.
If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.
Ms. Lauren M