Even now I am sure I want bottom surgery and HRT and hair removal. I want a tracial shave too. Sometimes I think, “I know what it’s like to have a male body, but I want to be in a female form in this life too, or I will never know what it feels like.” I want to have that life too. Being a man has been so boring.
I spent since my sister was born wondering what life was like being her. I thought it was simple curiosity. I brushed it off and still say I didn’t know until May of this year. But maybe it was just suppressed. I think rather than date girls I wanted to be them.
Some people say I could just try the reversible steps. Other say I will know deep inside what is true. Well I am doing both and having bottom surgery and HRT and changing my voice have been what I want since I started this path. I keep hoping it changes but so far its the same. I might not need the tracial shave. I definitely need the hair removal.
I will stay mindful and keep checking if my mind changes.