Reply To: Trans Etiquette


Hi Mia, I’m with you. My wife has made a lot of progress in referring to me as Brielle and she/her pronouns. I will NEVER be upset with anyone I know from before my transition for not getting it right unless I know they are trying to be rude or mean. Even then, I won’t react badly, I’ll just reply with a random name or use she/her for a guy or he/him for a lady until they figure it out. When I’m alone and I do something irritating at home or work, I’ll mutter “brilliant, B—” still with my guy name. So how can I expect my family and long-time friends to immediately get it right? But when I’m right in front of you and obviously not a male in looks, it can get aggravating.

I’d like to say the transition is going well, and for the most part it is. But my wife and I physically separated in June and she’s filed for divorce. Not because of the transition of itself, but she can’t be attracted to a female, and I get that. I can’t live as roommates and feel good aboiut things, and she gets that. We’re still supporting each other and eventually will be “besties”. But it’s too raw for that yet.

Hope you are doing well!



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