Glad to have you join us!
I suspect that the majority of members here have gone through the agony of trying to sort out their gender identity at some point. It isn’t an easy thing to think about because it is counter to the bulk of the information that surrounds us. It is also uncharted waters in the sense that we probably have not have to try to figure this out before.
As has been mentioned, seeking professional help is a positive step. Many members here have done this. Our minds work to try to protect us from stress and difficult situations. Thinking about our gender identity on our own can be VERY stressful and fearful as there is considerable uncertainty involved. It is not unlike how procrastination works. We divert our attention away from that which creates stress and tension. By contrast, a therapist will help to understand what’s going on and help you figure out how things sit for you. However, there is one key point. The therapist needs to be versed in gender issues. Not everyone has that background and experience.
It also helps to be connected with the trans community in your area. I would suggest searching for support and social groups. Owing to the pandemic, many LGBT centers have been doing support and social groups online. That can help to ease time, distance and transportation issues.
Please complete your Profile page. It helps other members begin to know you and your situation. The page will always be readily accessible and can be updated at any time.
Also, if you want to see if there are any other members near you, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.