I know everyone is different. You sound convinced of being assigned to the wrong gender at birth. At what age did you start questioning whether you were? 20 years is a long time. What has held you back? Do you and did you need to put on an act to appear male?
I asked myself these and a lot more questions before starting on my journey to meld myself into a body which can pass as a typical woman here in the U.S. I still question my need to go through all the trouble and expense and risk to appear feminine. Reason being, shouldn’t we all act as our spirit was meant to be regardless of the skin covering us?
I needed…my own decision…to visit a psychological specialist trained in transgender issues to help me make sure I wasn’t simply crazy before I started hormones and the other physical changes. There was a series of sessions before I was told I wasn’t crazy and I became convinced I needed to start my new journey.
So, as I said, we are all different, but you may want to consider seeing a professional who has interest in this subject before getting on in your journey.