How you identify is solely up to you, plain and simple. No one gets to tell you who you are.
That being said it may help to consider various aspects of your being. Non-binary typically refers to gender identity just as man or woman would. Attraction is to a particular sex or gender is just that, attraction. It’s often confused with gender, but attraction and gender are distinct separate things. Sxuality is also a seperate thing. For example a person (man, woman, NB, etc…) can be attracted to masculine people, but only prefer sex with those having female bodies. Three very distinct human attributes with a number of combinations of possibility.
It seems to me that those trying to help you with your definition may be trying to help you understand this concept above. Our goal here is to just to inform people so they can sort these things out for themselves.
Be beautiful, be who you are, be informed, be you!