I hear what you are saying and sympathize. It’s hard for me to have the same kind of thoughts. I’m divorced, kids are grown and living their lives and I live in the house surrounded by all the memories. I am in a position now,(retired), to be all alone and after adjusting to it, am finding peace with all my thoughts and feelings.
There’s a lot more to my story but this is about you. Hang in there!
Please write back if you want to.