Thank you Dana for your response. Yes “do the guy stuff “ that’s what I did, I grew up in a man’s world full of burly truck drivers , loggers , men who busted rocks for a living . It was no place to show your soft side so I did the guy stuff. Got married had a family worked a farm , drove trucks , welded steel.
I have to wonder if I was born 40 years later would I have the courage to come out and change myself. Things are changing fast now, I remember admiring Christian Jorgensen , she was trans when it wasn’t cool. Young people today are doing things that were unimaginable back then.
I suspect I will live out my remaining time on this earth as I am without any significant changes but maybe I will look into counseling to help me find some peace of mind. Maybe I can find that peace of mind here at TGH by identifying with all of you and admitting that I am part of the trans community.