Someone over on CDH had similar questions/concerns. Here’s what I said with some changes applicable to this discussion:
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A few of years ago, I had “The Talk” with The Mrs soon after retiring. My wardrobe broke open our bedroom door and spilled into the hallway…
I was ready to pack my bags and go, but my wife just shrugged her shoulders, smiled and asked, “You’ve bottled this up for years, eh?” Yup… LOL!!
I too have an innate desire to be female. Can’t help it. Just is. If I couldn’t identify and express myself in a feminine way, then I get very depressed. This is what I told my wife. In fact, she even seems sad I’ve bottled it up for so long.
The thing is… no matter what I wear or how I behave, I’m still the same person with the same personality, work ethic and maternal instincts – I was a stay at home mom for 16 years then went back to work while my wife rose the corporate ranks.
Funny… my wife has often mentioned that corporate men aren’t the aggressive personalities they once were, like on the TV show Mad Men. She says they’re a lot like me, personality-wise – more cerebral and mature. I’ll take it! LOL!!
I guess I’m just lucky. My kids are now adults and are very successful. So, I did my child-rearing part well and my wife is grateful and really couldn’t care less how I identified, so long as it’s not slutty (although I do have my private moments and photo shoots).
I’ve also immersed myself in our LBGT community and have made many friends locally and in Florida too! They are a wonderful resource. My wife sees how happy I’ve become since “coming out” to her and my advocacy with the Trans/Pride community.
I hope this helps and good luck!