Just a few thoughts…
Women’s bikes aren’t smaller than men’s bikes, the proportions are different, as women tend to have longer legs relative to height, so the distance from seat to handlebars is shorter for a given size of bike. As for bike size, that’s usually determined by your inseam, so just get the bike that fits that and adjust from there.
When shopping, I wouldn’t worry about the “hairy male staff”. Serious road bikers might not be too hairy. 🙂 And on a serious note, there seem to be a fair number of knowledgeable women working in the industry (at least here in the Twin Cities). And enough clueless men that you really have to find staff you feel you can trust and work with. And beyond the sales floor, a couple of the best mechanics I know are women.
Best wishes on getting a new bike and enjoying the rides.