Thank you for replying, I really appreciate your support. Like you, I am not really able to take the next step, mainly due to my job. I am well aware that any step toward transition would mean losing my career and starting again. I am willing to pay that price to find out who the real me is but for family reasons cannot do anything for at least 4 years! I really feel in limbo at the moment, endlessly wondering about these big questions but having no way to get an answer!
It helps to know that I am not the only one in this position. Although, it is also sad that you are suffering.
Sending you love and support.