You found us! I hope that being here will be helpful for your journey.
Regarding LGBT folks, there are no absolutes. Some folks do feel that there is something different compared to their peers, but that is not true for everyone. Our minds work to keep us out of trouble and lower stress levels. That’s why it is often difficult for us to think about things in our lives that have the potential for MAJOR upheavals. Also, denial can work at the subconscious level and we may not even know that this is happening.
As pure speculation, something may have happened in recent times that caused you to think a bit differently about your life to this point and what may be possible going forward. Many here have worked with a therapist and found the experience to be quite useful. However, it is important to find a therapist with experience in gender issues. Not everyone has that experience or interest. While there are some therapists among us, it would be very difficult for them comment of your situation and what needs to happen without seeing you. Further, while there are some similarities in our situations, there are MANY variables such that out stories always have some differences from my observation.
So, I have some suggestions for you:
You can search the member database for others who may be close by. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
Searching under Places will help to locate any transgender resources in your area.
I encourage you to complete your Profile page as it helps other members to understand you, and your situation better. Your page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time if something changes.