I enjoyed reading your message because it so closely parallels mine. I’m 80 yo but mentally much younger. I’d been a nylon lingerie fetishist since my early teens. Soon after my marriage I made sure my wife was aware of my need to enjoy my lingerie at home. She accepted my panties and nightgowns, but didn’t want to see me in any other items. This was especially the case, even after she lost all interest in sex.
Well, like you, I loved my wife very much and kept my needs and desires constrained so I didn’t cause problems with or marriage. But after 57 years of marriage, she died 16 months ago. Almost immediately I felt a very strong need to express myself as a woman of the 1950/60 age when lingerie was still glamorous and fashionable.
As a 20+ year survivor of prostate cancer, I think the gradual change in my hormone balance over that time had something to do with my changing gender. Whatever caused it, I now feel free to be Bobbie, the woman I would like to be. I’ve always had the undress part of being that woman under control; I have worked on getting the outer image publicly acceptable. I lost 75 lbs, and have purchased clothes, shoes, wigs, cosmetics, jewelry, etc.
Dressed as Bobbie, I have been to a salon for a make over and for several haircuts and wig trims. I’ve shopped for women’s clothes in stores and tried on my selections in the women’s fitting rooms. I’ve dined and drank in restaurants and bars. On most of my adventures, I have been alone.
I feel extremely confident and comfortable as Bobbie. I hope some day to find the strength to tell my children. They would be surprised, but eventually supportive. For now, I am looking for a woman like us who is living near me. I’ve met and socialized with a woman I greatly enjoy, but she lives an hour away. Our get togethers have to be planned in advance; no chance for spur of the moment activities.
I would love to make the medical changes to make Bobbie complete, but my age and medical history work against me. I haven’t seriously thought about SRS, but I am desperate for real breasts. Of course I own bras and various size inserts, but I have noticeable small breasts that are almost always in a soft nylon unstructured bra.
I’d enjoy a continuing dialogue with you in a private message.
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