Reply To: Transitioning after age 60

[Dani Sharpe]

This has been an interesting thread. I’m pleased that I started it. I’m new to this website, so please understand my caution in posting, etc.

Regarding surgery, I came to a decision to have an orchiectomy a few months ago. Following my prostatectomy in 2005, my libido has gradually decreased. This is due to aging as well as the effects of the cancer surgery. I’m effectively impotent and haven’t had sex with another person for more than a decade. My spouse of 50+ years is ok with this; although I feel mentally interested, my reduced libido is ok with this situation as well.

Taking spiro to reduce T seemed an unnecessary chemical avenue, especially when an orchiectomy is safe and a minor operation compared to prostatectomy. I was able to get an appointment with a surgeon who is experienced in transgender surgery. However, I was disappointed and discouraged when he refused to schedule the operation now or in 4-6 months, and maybe not in a year. He wanted me to continue counseling and therapy, and to start spiro and E before an operation. Why? He said, “because it’s permanent.” Wow! At age 75 (my birthday is Monday), the one thing that we know for sure is my senescence (aging) and subsequent death.
In some ways, the delay for surgery is ok. I started spiro a few weeks ago and will start with E before too long. This process will be slower than the operation – something that is likely better for my spouse’s growing acceptance. I like (and love) my spouse. We have built good and strong bonds together. I don’t want to lose this. She is gradually coming to understand my imperative in accepting my gender identity and expression.
The work I’ve been doing with a counselor has been incredibly helpful to me. The decision to start with the spiro has eased my frustration in not “doing something.” So now I’m progressing along a path toward an expressed gender identity that has made me happy and has relieved me from the contradictions and repressions that I’ve lived with so long.
I hope all the best for each of you who have been reading this and maybe going through some of the same feelings.

Dani