Reply To: For those married and wife knows

[Kathy]

As a teen I had no family support/understanding when I first noticed myself at age 13 (having naturally developed breasts). I was diagnosed with partial androgen insensitivity syndrome (hormone imbalance) at age 18 (after developing gynecomastia and other issues) in my early teens. I was a closet crossdresser off and on and tried/began to transition when I was 30 but stopped (lack of local support and no internet) and got married instead. My wife knew I crossdressed but didn’t know I was intersex too. I am 64, we’ve been married 32 years. I had been a workaholic until I recently retired. Since marriage, I continued my crossdressing until recently during Covid when my hormone imbalance became more active and became more depressed. As depression set in and I began to feel more mixed emotions, along with hot flashes and times of sadness (crying). My wife didn’t recognize this was my hormones doing this to me.
Years ago I also developed back pain and found wearing a bra helped. Recently my back pain became worse and I feel better (better posture) when I wear a bra (42C). My endocrinologist doctor diagnosed me this year with high estrogen and very low testosterone. The doctor noted in my medical records I have female breasts and recommended I see a therapist (which I have). The remaining of my medical staff accepts and recognizes I am transgender, wear women’s underwear and wear a bra.
I found a great therapist who assured me I’m a trans-woman. She said I’ve been living as a trans-woman for all these years acting and dressing like a male.
Since starting therapy, I’ve openly talked to my wife about my feminine feelings, trying to remind her I’ve always had female breasts, always crossdressed but now need to wear a bra. My wife cannot accept I have breasts nor that I need to wear a bra. I doubt my wife will ever fully accept me but I am hoping with time my wife will understand me.
I am trying yo be more outgoing as a trans-woman, including joining several local support groups. Sadly my face and lack of usable hair make me less feminine looking – I hate wigs. I prefer my basic jeans/tee shirt “woman” or “dyke-woman” look. I’ve decided to pierce my ears and my wife is okay with that. I am now seeking professional help for hormone balancing (towards female). Small steps at a time. Kathy