What you don’t know is that it only took 70+ years to get to this point, but I suppose the important thing is better late than never!
We have to remember that we all start from the beginning. Like babies, we have very little knowledge. Fortunately, the human mechanism is designed to learn and to seek knowledge. Sadly there are many among us in the general population who are loath to do that, but as trans people we have a lot to catch up on.
Of the many things that are curious about me is that when I discuss a topic, I often think in terms of stories. Perhaps it is because I like the simplistic form of a story: Beginning, Middle and an End. I really don’t know exactly why, but that’s how it seems to work out for me. Maybe 20 years ago, I was coaching a young engineer. She said something like “Everything is a story to you, isn’t it?”. Well, maybe not EVERYTHING, but at that point I realized that there was a lot of true in what she said.
For the issues that you have raised, my responses are pretty mechanical. The cause and effect are pretty straightforward. For other things, like the coming out process, my approach is very different. I talk about possible things to do and what the consequences might be, but I try very hard to avoid the Do This, Do That thing. It is something that I learned from my kids (both in their 40’s now). Ownership of a decision is very important. If people don’t take ownership, it can come down to: “I did what you said and everything got all messed up. It’s ALL YOUR FAULT!!”. Not a good situation.
There tends to be a lot of discussion here about the coming out process. That is understandable as it is a MAJOR step for the majority of us. At once, it is similar and different for us compared to gay folks. They don’t necessarily look different before and after, but we do, so that adds to the whole process. While I will freely tell people what I did and why, I will also say that it wasn’t a way that I would recommend. It has to be a very personal thought process and decision. While there will always be similarities in the lives of trans people, there are so many variables that makes each one us different. Even when the same variables are involved, the matter of degree comes into play to change things.
Anyway, I didn’t set out to write so much this morning. Perhaps it is a function of getting up very early on Wednesday mornings to take the trash out for pickup!?!? If it is useful, great! If it isn’t, consider it to be the ramblings of an old lady.
Have a Wonderful Wednesday!
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