Thank you so much for the insights 💚 I’m still absorbing it all and trying not to get too amped up by this. Like you said, it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and whichever decisions and changes I make today I still want to be happy about tomorrow. That’s one of the main reasons why I can’t see myself transitioning at all, even though I can see myself potentially radically changing my presentation in the not-very-far future.
I ultimately cannot — and hopefully will not — deny anything about myself to please others or “keep things normal”. No matter how much I hate hurting people, hurting myself for someone else is just wrong.
Many things you said called my attention, and I definitely see myself not attached to masculinity (because I don’t like it), barely attached to my femininity (which I’m recently discovering), and feeling more like a “person” than anything else.
It’s interesting that I don’t have to explain to you how “scantily-dressed” Brazilians are hypocritical bigots. My closeted bisexual (perhaps homosexual), pedophile father was the one who, over and over again, would snap at me whenever I “wasn’t man enough”. And yes, Brazil has been the country that kills the most trans people for 14 years in a row. No wonder I never want to come back, not even for visiting. And once I get my Canadian citizenship I will never have to.
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