Reply To: Samantha Needs to Live


Samantha, thanks for sharing your long and painful journey. I relate to desperately wishing to be a woman for many years. I harbored secret fantasies of winning the lottery so I could finally transition. Until one day this March, I just couldn’t fantasize anymore that I would find a magic lantern and genie granting my wish, or I would win the super lotto. On that day just a few short months ago, my wishing died, and I started to live. Congratulations on realizing you are a beautiful and valid woman, Samantha and for taking a big step forward joining this community, too.

All of us who married dread our wife finding our secret stash of female clothes and makeup. Thanfully mine never did. Your poor wife automatically assumed you were seeing another woman; and you have a very profound insight that Samantha is “the other woman” in your relationship. It’s true to your wife. Currently my wife has accepted my authentic self, but is deeply mourning the death of our marriage. I’ve had many wine-sodden late nights talking things through with my wife and introducing her to my authentic self.

I would encourage you to also sit down with your wife, once the dishes are put away and the kids are in bed and be completely 100% painfully truthful with her. No more lies, no more shame. Be 100% truthful from now on for her and especially for yourself. The truth will set you free. Honestly, by me being fully honest and answering all my wife’s questions allowed her to be honest and I learned things about my wife I never knew before. Be prepared though, your wife may accept you or she may not. She has that right. She may very well want a divorce. But in the end, it will all be for the better for everyone. You have a right to live happily. Congratulations and welcome, sister.


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