Your text about coming out is important. I have asked for a new section dealing with just this issue. While it works out somewhat differently for all of us, being outed is never a good path. I understand why people are often very reluctant to tell all about themselves, but the result is that we are always placed on the defensive and often things get said that are difficult to take back. It seems to me that a thoughtful, straightforward approach works better.
When we are outed, we are “caught”. Folks get mad about the different reality that is in place, or about to be in place. But, often they are angry that we didn’t tell them, particularly if they found out from a third party. There are all sorts of possible reactions here, but most of them are bad and that’s why, if at all possible, we need to be in front of things before they get out of hand.
Now, I’m sure folks are thinking about how hard it would be to do this. But, I would counter this by asking: “What do you think will happen if you get outed? A calm, measured discussion without blame and recrimination or WW3?”.
I am reminded of that old saying:
A coward dies many deaths,
A brave man only once.