Lucia,
welcome dear. it matters not how you got here, just that you’re here now. this is home it is safe n many people wiser than I will offer to share stories expériences, suggestions, listen n caring words of comfort. so welcome dear.
I had somewhat similar n slightly different. I was not bullied n did not look fem growing up, n with all athletic make siblings..well..I was one too..but I always knew ..even when we played doll with neighbor girl, I knew I was..different. I knew dressing in moms clothes was not entirely..”normal” or expected of young boys. dad constantly told mom I woukd grow up to be a sissy if we were not careful.
I knew something was..off..i always wanted to be her, whoever the pretty girl was, I wanted her clothes n her body n I craved being taken by lovers after I had teased them..somehow this did not mesh with my understanding of a typical AMAB but I dared not say anything..as it was cast as shameful ..
now I almost don’t fr..king care..I deserve to be happy n God doesn’t care if I wear heels or not, ..I’m not a contagious monster..I’m just lgbt..so what? so I’m a girl so? how’s that so bad?
sorry
welcome dear. maybe some if that sounds familiar
hugs
missy jo