It is important to understand that they are MANY paths that ultimately lead us to a sense that we are transgender. Some paths happen more frequently and others may be fairly infrequent. It’s just how it is.
After crossdressing for a couple of years, it finally occurred to me at the age of 67 that I was never completely male in my perspective, nor completely female for that matter. What I realized was that I was this combination of male and female like/dislikes, perspectives and thought processes. Further, looking back on it, that was always the case but I guess I didn’t allow myself to think consciously about that.
It took 67 years for me to finally settle into my groove, but now it feels very comfortable. I present as DeeAnn maybe 95% of the time. Since I retired and relocated at the beginning of 2016, I am known here as DeeAnn. Very few (probably no more than a dozen) have ever met Don. Right now I hold office in 5 organizations and DeeAnn is the person of record. I have no plans for any medical interventions or name/gender changes on any of my personal documents as the physicality of my body was never an issue. In other words, I never felt that I was in the wrong body.
I don’t know what the specifics are of our statistical distribution is, but there will always be situations that are fairly rare. There is nothing invalid about this. It is just how circumstances come together.
Lastly, seeing a therapist is not an act of confidence. The idea is to help you understand what is happening in your life and to take the mystery out of it. They are trained to listen, ask the right questions and to be non-judgmental. If this qualities are not present, perhaps they are not very good at what they do. However, with all of the class work, internships and licensing procedures, such people are pretty rare. When we are honest with them, much can be learned about ourselves.