Good to have you with us!
MANY here have been where you are. There are a ton of things to figure out and understand, but, it is different for everyone. We are all unique equations with unique solutions.
Over time a number of members here have worked with a therapist. Given the fear of potential upheaval in our lives along with the shame and guilt, it is really hard for us to consider these matters on our own. Therapists won’t fix it for you, but they will help you uncover or understand what is significant for you and offer some things to think about. However, if you do this, look for someone with experience in gender issues. Not everyone has this background.
Are you connected with the trans community where you live? I suspect that there is a significant trans community in your area. Isolation is a big problem in the community and leads to thoughts such as “there’s no one else like me”, etc. Rationally, we know that isn’t the case, but there is nothing rational about fear and worry. Anyway, social creatures that we are, being among our peers is almost always a powerful thing.
Thanks for completing your Profile page. I usually have to remind new members to do that. What may not be understood by some is that it can provide a fair amount of insight as to what is going on for the new member. All threads will eventually sink to the bottom and get archived but your page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time.
Another way to get connected with the community is to search the Membership Directory for those who live in your area. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.