In many ways, Life is an experience of discovery. By discovery, I mean coming to a realization of something that you didn’t know about yourself.
In 1997 I had my first sexual experience with a man. I didn’t need to be convinced or cajoled. There was no hesitation or fear. I was completely in the moment and could feel every sensation and nuance. I didn’t feel that I was doing anything out of character or that was even a taboo, actually. That was a revelation to me.
2003 was the first time that I went out dressed. I was living in Corning, NY at the time. My friend was living in Ithaca, which was 45 miles away. She would become my 2nd wife a couple of years later. Anyway, she wanted to attend a Halloween showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show on the Cornell University campus. The deal was that you could get in for free if you crossdressed. I resisted at first, but she eventually wore me down. It was the first time that I ever wore a dress. As we were driving from her place to the campus, I did feel a bit nervous because a number of people who work for Corning, Inc. live in Ithaca. But, I soon got over that and realized that I felt comfortable in the clothes. To finish the story, my friend was dressed in a black turtleneck, black tights and a black tutu with a lavender strap-on underneath. The ushers were marginally able to show us to our seats for the shock and laughter. And of course, Pat being who she is, just had to flash them!
Anyway, as a result of those two discoveries, I began to understand my sexual orientation and gender identity. Anyway, it’s funny how unusual circumstances can provide a wealth of information.
