Reply To: Being older as a transgender/cross dresser?

#139488

That’s a beautiful story Kim.  I haven’t made 8 decades yet, but I’m right behind you.  What a journey it’s been, how everything has changed since we were children.  I was just reminiscing with a couple friends yesterday, I can remember, back in a little coal mining town in the Appalachians, before we had running water in the house.   From a 7 house party phone line to the computers we carry around in our pocket today.  And, from having to hide our true natures, the person we always felt we were, from the entire world, our families, friends, coworkers, worst of all from ourselves.  Living lives of, as Pink Floyd says, “quiet desperation” , fear of being discovered, ashamed of how we felt.  Many of us are only now, after so much of our lives have gone by, beginning to realize ourselves, able to enjoy who we are with others who are just like us.  Even with the social changes we’re seeing happening, we can be sure there are many, probably tens of thousands if not more, who are still having to live those lives.  It’s still dangerous , I personally know 2 men, in their 50s, who decided to risk it and reveal their desires to cross dress to their wives.  Ex wives now.  Not everyone is understanding, much less supportive.  I’m pretty much “out” most everyone knows, but in most cases it’s just one of those “don’t ask, don’t tell” type things.  I don’t flaunt it, they don’t ask.  But I do so love to dress, and then I hate to go back to being male, so it has happened that I forgot to take off my eye makeup one time, and recently I forgot to remove my nail polish.   Maybe I just don’t care any more either.  I keep asking myself why, at this stage in my life, I even care what other people, especially strangers, think of me, but that lifetime of programming, going so far back, the living dual lives, seems to be almost impossible to overcome completely.  I’m working on it.  One day, we’ll all be free to be who we are meant to be.

Hugs,

Jennifer

 

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