You’re so correct, we don’t “become” we already “are”. At our core anyway. But that’s a matter of perspective. I’ve heard it from both of the men I know who have lost their families for “becoming” a cross dresser. I realize it, as probably all of US do, but to others, people who have know us forever, wives, they don’t know us in that way. Wives say “You’re not the man I married”, not realizing that yes, he is, the man you married was a lie, and has been for your entire married lives. We’ve all done it, at least the more mature of us here, lived a lie, creating a life image so we could fit in with the acceptable social norms. In that case, we do become someone else, that someone who we present full time to the rest of the world. To them, that is the REAL us. Many, if not most of us, still do to this day. So when we reveal who we feel we really are, it’s a major change, a shock, to everyone else, we’ve changed, we’ve become someone else, someone they thought they knew but now find they don’t. I think sometimes we forget the impact this may have on those who know us, we focus on our own trauma, forgetting about that woman who has been living, sleeping with us for decades, the man she married, suddenly wanting to wear her panty hose. This is not what she knows, we have become something else, to them. We’re only “are” to ourselves, to everyone else, it’s the grand illusion, we are who we want them to see. As we grow, adapt, change, although our core “are” remains, we become something different to the world outside our own brains. We are chameleons.