Hi Evelyn,
Thank you for your great insights, and I hope that everything continues to go well for you now that you’ve had SRS!
When I mentioned ‘passing’, I may have been thinking about it differently than you or others. At a time when there is a massive backlash against us even existing, I do fear for my safety at times, especially if I’m going somewhere alone where there are liable to be large crowds, or when I need to take public transit. (The subways can really bring out the worst in people, especially in Boston or NYC where the systems are beyond broken.)
Tucking without pain can be a challenge of course, and I try to do it only when necessary for my safety, when having a spontaneous erection could invite real trouble. On the other hand, I want to be able to wear leggings and tight shorts in public without worrying about being harassed or worse. We should be able to wear what we feel comfortable in, but we’re in the midst of a cultural backlash right now thanks to certain politicians, talking heads, and one extremely transphobic social media tycoon.
If not for safety issues, I would have no reason to think about bottom surgery. Hair removal and HRT are very important to me, and I will probably get breast implants eventually, but my genitals are not a cause for dysphoria for me the way facial and body hair, and my lack of curves are. If I could be an alto rather than a tenor, that would also improve my confidence socially.
If someone cannot accept a woman with a larger clitoris, I don’t want anything to do with them of course, and I’m sure that I speak for every MTF woman here. At the same time, I also don’t want to be a victim to the violent transphobic intentions of those who have been brainwashed to believe that we are somehow a threat to their way of living.