Hi Jill,
Your answer resonates so perfectly with what I gave come to understand after bearing the load of my gender incongruity for over 63 years. I have built a “successful” life as my male self. So many rely on and love me as a male. Yet all this was done and is currently being lived out with the continual discomfort caused by the ebb & flow of gender dysphoria (I call it gender brokenness)
After years of misunderstanding about myself which has created a plethora of guilt, shame, dark and ah-ha moments, I have finally conclude that all this goes on because truly (though not female physically) at my core I am a woman.
Now at 68 do I want to be a woman. YES, sometimes so badly that it physically hurts. But your closing remarks,
“I’ve been doing this so long I have come to accept who I am and know I can express the true me without transitioning fully. Maybe the struggle has made me tired, not sure, but I’m happy enough as is.”
Happy enough? For me not really, but I’ve come to the conclusion that in light of all who my transition would affect this is about as good as it gets for me. I may be wrong, but at this point I don’t sense it is wise to upset the proverbial apple cart.
Kindly,
Charlene
