There is a gross misconception that persists. Many erroneously believe that gay and trans people “become”. This is the thought process behind the “grooming” BS. But, that was never the case. Nothing happened to us. We were gay or trans from the beginning. If people (speaking of the general populace) would read the accounts that gay and trans people have written about their lives, they would see that kids of single digit ages were aware that they were different from their peers. They didn’t understand it and they had no vocabulary for it, but they knew they were different. That is the simple truth of it.
Many also erroneously believe that sex and gender are the same thing. They are NOT. As someone once put it, Sex is between your legs, but Gender is between your ears.
Whenever the conversation comes up, I will frequently make these points. However, people often choose to cling to what they believe in spite of information and logic to the contrary. “You can’t tell me” is the prevailing thought process.
Anyway, these are the things that must change in order for others to understand how things sit for us.
Also, it may be that separation is necessary in order for both parties to have the life that they need and deserve. I’m not saying that I advocate this, but it is not uncommon.