Reply To: Newbie introduction

DeeAnn Hopings


Glad to have you! For me, personally, it is also good to have another Midwesterner. Although I am retired and live in California these days, I am originally from Toledo, OH.

This community has members in many places around the world. Just about every gender identity, sexual orientation, occupation, family arrangement, transition circumstances and ethnic groups you can think of are probably represented here somewhere. Truly we are everywhere and doing everything and that makes for interesting perspectives in the threads.

As a group, it is not unusual for LGBT folks to be isolated. There are various reasons for this that I won’t go into at the moment, but they work to keep people separated. However, we humans are social creatures. We like, and need, the camaraderie that comes from being in a group of our peers. Anyway, if you are not connected with the trans community where you live, I encourage you to do that.

You can search our member database by clicking on Social in the menu and then Member Directory. I see that there are 277 members in Minnesota, although some may not be very active.

I also encourage you to complete your Profile page as it goes a long way towards helping other members understand you and your situation. Your page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time.

As a personal philosophy, I rarely give advice. I will ask questions, suggest things to think about or recount something that I did and explain my reasons for doing it. I am very clear about what I did and why, but with the caveat that everyone has to figure out what they need to do that fits their unique set of circumstances. I do this specifically to avoid backlash like: “I did what you said and EVERYTHING got messed up.”. Ultimately, we all have to own our decisions; good and bad.

While someone’s circumstances may appear quite similar to someone else, remember that there are MANY variables such as age, geographic location, family circumstances, employment status, educational background, etc. that can play a part in our decisions as to what needs to happen for us. Conscious thought and consideration is our friend.

One thing that I will point out is that many here have worked with a therapist and clearly benefitted from the experience. The reason is that it is often quite difficult for us to think about something that can be surrounded by a lot for fear and uncertainty. But, it is important to find someone with experience in gender issues. Not everyone has that particular background.

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