Reply To: Are you “Transgender” or “Woman” (or “Man”)?


A bit late to the party but here’s my thoughts….

How can a five year old know about biology, sex, sexuality and beyond yet know that he wanted to be like the girls in wanting to dress like them and play their games. Whatever possessed me to ask a girl if she had a dress like hers I could have or ask a friend of my sisters to dress me up and even dress up myself in my sisters clothes. I was a boy and society had me conform to that stereotype yet there were still those nagging thoughts, was I a girl?  By the time puberty beckoned girls bodies changed and mine didn’t so when dressing the padding went in and became a teenage girl. But then hormones kicked in and all change for me and my body let me down knowing that I wasn’t the same as a girl because my biology was different but size wise and emotionally there were those female traits. I also began to have a life as this male and therefore created a history along with an identity that everyone knew. Back in the day the only ‘labels’ were Transvestites, Transexual and Drag queen well I was certainly not the latter  but maybe one of the others but it mattered not as no one knew of my deeper thoughts and there was a contentment that there were opportunities to dress and that a dream was in my head.

Roll on time to about thirty years ago and the big leap to tell my mother, then family which was a pivotal moment as it could have gone either way but was accepted and my identity could change for moments in time which became more and more frequent. I was asked the usual, ‘Are you gay’ or ‘Are you looking to change sex’  but that was at the time but nothing said after that as it was accepted  that liked dressing as a woman. I know some hate the word passable but yes I could go out and start to blend in and as my identity was found the stares stopped, I was passable which made me feel good  and confidence grew.

The next phase was telling others which included work colleagues, neighbours and friends, again a few questions but acceptance. If asked the answer would be, this is who I am and they can draw there own conclusions. Eventually the dressing became regular outside of work and on retirement full time then entered the world of work and making new friends as Angela.

I have a history as a man being a son and male friend and have no shame about that and due to that if my mother or close friends call me by my old name then so be it, we will talk about the ‘old’ days and I look back at what has been achieved with pride. The majority of other friend call me Angela and in all scenarios am treated as a woman and even my mum and family will remember to call me that if out or in company.

But now I have a new history since living full time working meeting lots of new people and making new friends, my credit and bank cards reflect my identity too. When I apply for work a covering note is put in to explain that I am socially transitioning and my female details. I was surprised at the success rate to interview, there was nothing to suggest I was there to get the quotas up and offers came. Only the managers knew and entered as Angela with an I.D tag to match. If the staff , clients or customers knew was irrelevant and was never questioned nor set apart, I was one of the workers.

New friends, neighbours and associates were perhaps going to be the next test but when you get to know each other and nothing is asked you wonder. Sitting with a friend or in a group feels natural and the topics of conversation are purely female, believe me. I can easily talk about my past careers as being a female as women do the same jobs then talk about my childhood as being a girl but everything is second nature now, they see a woman.

I am happy with my body as it has served me well and with a few enhancements the female is now free and at my age surgery is less important as I am where I have wanted to be.

So I have transitioned from the male entity to the female without any surgery nor name change. My only concession is to go on hormones now which has not made a lot of difference as yet.

So am I any of the above that’s for you to decide as labels are meaningless to me as this is who I am and always was and that is a female.






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