I am not entirely sure, but it must have been at latest around the time I started school. At the time Swedish kids used to start school the year they turned seven, but due to special circumstances I was allowed to start a year early at six years and four months.
At seven, I think, my three years younger sister went to a masquerade dressed in my mom’s short ballerina style lace wedding dress from 1963, that was a full length gown on sis, and I remember being so jealous on her.
I didn’t know anything about being transgender or transsexual, but I knew I desperately wanted to be a girl and often I prayed to God to let me wake up as a complete girl in the morning.
It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I lernt about the possibilities to transition between genders and change your body with hormones and surgery. At that time I was starting a family as a husband and later on father, so I reluctantly kept to the crossdressing I’ve been practising since age 11 or 12.
I now want to be a woman more than ever, but never seems to get the chance to go there.